How does Roleplay work in sex?

A sexual role play is a role play that has a strong erotic element. Sexual fantasy is the act of creating a scenario or role play that may involve two or more people acting out roles, and may include foreplay, and may be sexually arousing. Roleplaying is an effective means of overcoming sexual inhibitions. Many people find it a healthy way to explore their sexuality.

How seriously the play is taken depends on the participants, and the scenario could be anything from simple and makeshift to detailed and elaborate, including costumes and a script. The role play can involve a fantasy based on any social role and could include any kind of sexual fetish desired by the participants. There are items or clothing that can be experienced as erotic or one or more participants being nude. Sexual bondage and erotic humiliation are some of the elements of the role play. Like this handcuff collection from Cuffstore, and more.

The popularity of the Internet has also allowed for online sexual encounters, known as cybersex, which may involve roleplay.

What are some good Roleplay ideas?

I've been creating my own role play scenes for years, and I can tell you, it's a lot of fun! However, it's not always easy. Sometimes it's hard to find things that work for everyone involved. Sometimes you have to be flexible. And sometimes it's just plain awkward. But when it works, it's worth every minute of the struggle.

Housewife and Handyman

The housewife handyman scenario has always been a crowd favorite and you can also be a house husband and handywoman. There is something sexy about someone who's come to clean your 'pipes'. You don't need much to pull it off because your apartment or house is already the perfect backdrop.

Professor and Student

Many of us think about the teacher we wished we were "doing". I know I've always had a crush on my algebra teacher. The most powerful role play scenario involves a naughty professor and his sexy student.

The whole student/teacher paradigm is very hot, but becomes problematic when you're thinking in terms of age appropriate consent. Falling prey to that is NOT sexy.

Nanny and Hot Single Mom/Dad

The hot single parent banging the nanny has extreme appeal. The single parent is broken hearted and looking for love just waiting for the wonderful nanny to come in and swoop them up. Everyone loves MILFs/DILFs right?

Uptight Boss and Employee

Have you ever had a boss that you lusted for, even though he or she was a total asshole? Yes, a power exchange is what gets the juices flowing. Angry sex is HOT. Feelings of passion are very similar to feelings of rage when someone pisses you off.

Good Cop and Bad Cop

You're partners in the force, each other's shields and greatest allies. You have to rough up a criminal. Each of you has a role. You give way to your lust after an intense interrogation.

Doctor and Nurse

Sometimes being a medical professional is hard and you have to let off steam with a coworker. Nurse and doctor costumes are very popular on Halloween. They're tempting.

Batman and Poison Ivy

We all want to be superheroes because they're larger than life. What's not to love about super strength and being able to walk through walls?

Pretending to be a superhero is really fun, and with superpowered, superhero sex, it's even better. This is a dynamic that applies to just about any mix of your favorite superheroes and villains.

Librarian and Reader

If you think you've never thought about having sex with a librarian, you're lying. This is a sexy fantasy because of how books and intelligence are often thought of as unattractive.

Athlete and Coach

Coaches are very attractive. They are very sexy, strong, and powerful. This makes them very desirable. It's kind of weird how some locker rooms are so disgusting, and yet for some reason, so many people want to screw in them.

How do you roleplay for beginners?

It's a simple concept - if you can role play in the privacy of your own head, you can do it in the real world. By pretending to be someone else, you gain a better understanding of yourself and how you behave in different situations. Whether you're into a more traditional or a more experimental approach to role playing, there are plenty of things you can do that will help you to make this form of play more than just a novelty.

Make a game plan

Whether it’s in the bedroom or on the stage, it’s important to have a game plan for role play so you can both enjoy what comes next. You're not required to plan out a full evening, but it will help if you do. To really step into the experience you'll need to be in character and deeply commit.

Do you want to dress up? Use accessories? Decorate your space appropriately? No matter your preferences for role-playing, you will need to tackle this one together as a team, so be sure to share your ideas and what you'd like to try.

Start out small with the props

What's cool about this is that you don't have to be full on in order to be successful or get laid. Some people say it's best to start out slow to avoid feeling like an idiot. Don't be afraid to start working your way up, even if it seems like there's a barrier in your way.

When it comes to cosplay, you might want to do more than just put a few pieces together. Roleplay can get quite tricky, but if you start small, it’ll be easier to get into character.

Wondering where to buy the right kind of props? Take a look at Cuffstore's top sellers, they offer free shipping in the US

Don’t be afraid to laugh and be silly

At first, this may seem kind of silly, simply because it is! So what? Have fun. It's the beginning of a journey. And at the same time, it's a way of indulging some of your most long standing and most potent fantasies and exploring new territory with your partner.

If you are afraid to look silly, read more in our article here about Overcoming Awkwardness in Roleplaying.

Don't think that you’re incapable of getting into character. Laughing and being silly means that you’re having a good time together. Slow down and take your time, trust the process.

How do I get my wife to use sex toys?

Firstly, if you want your husband to use sex toys, read on as this is not just for wives specifically. If you're really serious about wanting to introduce sex toys into your bedroom, then you need to know how to do it without it feeling awkward. There are some ways you can go about it without being too weird or pushing your partner away.

If you've ever had a desire to try something new in the bedroom but were nervous about it, then you've come to the right place. There's nothing to be afraid of when it comes to exploring your sexuality. In fact, the more you know about your body and what you like, the better you'll be able to please yourself and your partner.

Sex toys are a great way to spice up your sex life. Whether you're looking to spice things up with a new toy or you just want to explore the possibilities, read on!

Step 1: Buy a Sex Toy

Well duh, buy a sex toy first. It would be stupid to try to use sex toys without having one, no? You need to invest on quality toys, these aren't exactly the items to skimp out on this as you need high quality materials as these toys are going to be interacting with you and your partner's sensitive organs.

Step 2: Create a culture of open sex talk

Talk to each other about your desire to bring sex toys into your relationship. Ask each other if your sexual preferences and your partner’s make it easy to do so.

Talk about sex to help increase your understanding of what you like and to provide an opportunity for you to experience something new that you might enjoy in the bedroom. Conversation about sex will help you and your partner get used to discussing what sensations you enjoy and what additions you can make to your sex lives to make them better.

Step 3: Specifically talk about using a sex toy

Once you get comfortable talking about sex, it's time to start introducing your partner to the possibility of using sex toys. You're not allowed to just take a vibrator from beneath your bed in the middle of things, and you need to make sure you've got consent before doing so.

Whipping out a sex toy will put your partner in a position where they feel pressured into trying something that they don't want to try. Your partner needs to create a space where they can say no to anything.

Focus the conversation on the possibility of creating something great together. "I like using a vibrator on you or I'd like you to use a stroker on me as It would be hot"

Step 4: Get specific on what toy to try

There are seven or eight different types of vibrators alone, such as wand massagers, clitoral stimulators, and anal dilators. Dildos, strokers, nipple clamps, and floggers also qualify as sex toys. It's very possible that if you are not specific in your discussion, when you agree to use a sex toy, you may be envisioning a sword-shaped dildo while your partner is thinking about a vibrating cock ring.

It's important to be on the same page about what type of toy you’re trying together before you get started. To make that decision, take some time to walk around your local adult store and see what excites you.

Listen to your instinct. When it comes to love, listen to your gut feelings and observe your partner's body language. You'll know what turns them on and if you're on the right track! Visit a sex shop's online store (like Cuffstore) allows you to browse through the different sex toy categories.

Step 5: Play with the toy for a while

Now that you have your toy, get to know it for a while before bringing it to bed. How do you turn it on and off? How do you increase or decrease the intensity? How many vibration patterns are there? Which ones do I want to try? Check, double check, triple check, that you are able to answer these questions before you use them.

Step 6: Discuss the experience afterwards

It’s important for you and your partner to come together after sex and talk about the toy, reflect on what went well, and what may need some work or support.

Step 7: Keep going

When it comes to sex toys, it’s really all about what works for you. If you drop money on a toy and then don’t love it the first time, try it again. You could use it on your lower belly, or in a different setting, or on a different body part, or with a different kind of lubricant or arousal oil. Using it while you masturbate will help you to understand what feels good to you and, as a result, you’ll discover what works for you to enjoy sexual pleasure.

Bonus Step: Maintain your toys!

Got your wife/husband to finally agree? The next step is caring for your toy, read our article here on how to do so. It is as equally as important as the process of persuading someone to agree to use them.

What does S&M stand for?

Sadism and masochism are abbreviated as S&M. Sadomasochism is a fetish where a person derives sexual pleasure from the infliction of pain on another, either by themselves or through others. S&M is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of activities in which participants engage in activities that may be pleasurable for one party but painful for another.

S&M is a subset of BDSM that focuses on S&M. It includes bondage, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Dominance and submission are part of the psychological play of S&M. There is nothing dirty, disrespectful, or depraved about S&M, or BDSM, but it does involve hurting your partner. However, don't go so far that your partner could go to an emergency room or might bandage him/herself up after sex.

BDSM is all about play, and like any other form of play, the fun is in playing and sharing the power with your own consent. There isn't a single size that fits all of the definition of BDSM. Restraining your hands with your husband's tie might be enough for you, while someone else might get flogged with a leather riding crop. And that's all right. It's possible to get kinky without leaving a mark or feeling a sting.

Related - Why Do You Have a Kink?

Why you should bother with S&M

When you think about it, we all need to try new things in order to grow as people. When I was younger, I never tried S&M. But now I find myself having a more adventurous sex life because I've explored this side of myself.

You can always be open to trying new things in the bedroom, and the same goes for your sex life. It's not always easy to be spontaneous and adventurous, but if you're having trouble finding ways to spice things up, you might want to consider consensual S&M play.

The science is out, and it's clear that S&M can improve the quality of sex for many.

How to get started

S&M is not only for people who like being dominated, humiliated, and whipped. S&M is a way of life, and there are many aspects to it besides the whips and flogging.

You can also lightly tease them with your teeth, or press a kiss onto their lips, but don't go for a big, lingering, full-mouth kiss, as that's not really what this is about. S&M is all about domination and control of the submissive.

As you explore a blindfold experience, you might try some of the more adventurous S&M activities, like tying one partner’s hands or feet, playing servant/master games, spanking, pinching, scratching, and asking permission to use whips or paddles.

After all this, accessorize! S&M wouldn't be S&M if you had no accessories like bondages, cuffs, and etcetera. Grab the appropriate things at our store!

Browse our collection here for quality goods, and FREE USA SHIPPING

Guidelines for S&M

Consent is the most important thing with S&M. Anything can be fun and enjoyable if it's agreed to. It's possible that being called terrible names, spanked, and made to scrub the floor is exactly what your partner signed up for. If this is the case, the experience can turn into a lot of fun. After the play is over, you return to your usual roles and ways of treating one another.

You should always have a safe word to ensure consent, and if you feel like you’re being pressured into something, it’s okay to stop. It's good for every couple to have a code word, just in case something happens that makes them feel too uncomfortable. A "safe word" is a code that lets your partner know to stop what they’re doing. Look for an unusual word or phrase, as long as it's clear what you mean and it won't be confusing if you accidentally use it. Your "safe word" can help your partner during sex, and if you use it in a safe situation, it's not a violation of your agreement.

Explore what you don't know is there. Time and again, I see people discovering things they didn't know they would enjoy. Some people think you need to do things that feel terrible to be on your way to finding your inner truth, but the truth is you can go to any place you like to be and find new aspects of. Start with fantasies that you both really enjoy and then expand from there.

What does it mean by your kinks?

Kink can be any number of things, but I am going to use it as an umbrella term for anything that falls under the category of unconventional sexual activity. So, kinks include bondage, BDSM, domination, exhibitionism, and any other activities that fall outside of traditional sex.

The definition of non-traditional means different things to different people, but in most contexts, non-traditional means anything that falls outside of romantic, intercourse-based sex between two people. There are things that range from bondage like BDSM collars, handcuffs, ropes or restraints, to practices like public humiliation, domination/submission, and group sex.

What causes a kink?

We often experience kinks without even realizing it. It's pretty easy to get into BDSM without even knowing it. It may be with toys, or etcetera. You may be curious about the lifestyle or just want to try something new, but you don't want to get into it blind.

In the market for toys? Browse our collection for ALL your needs.

We develop kinks during many stages of life

The roots of a person's sexual kink are subjective. We try to put people into boxes, and frankly, your sexual kink is subjective. We’re all complex. That’s why we need to learn how to understand each other. For example, when someone starts a passion for leather, maybe it was because their first partner was a macho dude and wore lots of leather jackets.

It's not necessarily a matter of age, of gender, or your experiences in life. It can happen without any particular circumstances, so it isn't always linked to some event in your past. There are many different kinds of knots to discover, each one attached to a certain action and affecting your body in some way.

However, a study claims that people who were spanked as children have a predilection towards spanking during sex. Also, as pornography watching increases and more sexual acts are available to people, there are a lot of kinks discovered through puberty.

It's already there in our imagination

It's very common for people to think about something taboo. Most people will have some crazy sexual thoughts in their lifetime. Humans are very active in their imaginations. Thinking about it is one thing, but acting on it is another. The fact that fewer people act on their kinks seems pretty obvious.

Research suggests that most people have had a sexual fantasy about something kinky before, so most of us do seem to be a little weird. The number of people who actually want to act on their fantasies is smaller than the number of people who have engaged in them. Fantasy, desire, and behavior are all different, so it depends on which one you're talking about.

Should I be kinky?

The short answer is yes. It's important to experiment sexually so you can discover what you like and what you don't like. Kinkiness, drastically improves our sex lives. If you are worried about feeling or looking stupid for the first time, this article tackles a similar topic.

Developing a good relationship with your kink/s

If you're into kink and want to enjoy it during your sex life, there are tons of options available. It’s difficult to develop healthy, comfortable relationships with sexual behaviors that aren’t conventionally accepted in society. Kinky fun is an important part of your sexual experience, and as long as you decide what you want to try out, you'll be able to have a healthy appreciation for

Remember that kinks are extremely common. Most people have had sex fantasies before, so stop feeling weird about having those thoughts. However, an unhealthy relationship could also be your downfall. Try to "responsibly" handle your kinks, seek consent from your partner, and seek a professional when things start to get out of hand.

Can you get STD from old toy?

First off, if you think you might have contracted an STD, you should immediately seek a professional as an article on the internet cannot cure you.

Sex toys can be a source of bacteria and viruses that can cause infections, both bacterial and viral. But this is not a reason to stay away from adult toys and accessories. However, you need to learn how to protect yourself and maintain your sexual health. If you don't want to get STDs from sex toys, it's essential that you know how to maintain your sex toys.

Should sex toys be cleaned after every use?

Yes, of course. But you'd think cleaning sex toys with soap and water would be good enough. Please don’t do that. It’s best to first figure out what type of material the toy is made of before starting to clean them. You can divide most sex toys into two broad categories: porous materials and non-porous materials.

Check the box or look it up online to see what kind of material your toy is made of. When it comes to cleaning porous sex toys, you should know right off the bat that while it's possible to clean them, even if you can, it might not be enough to eliminate all the germs you might want to be eliminating.

You should think about cleaning your toy before you use it, even if you are careful about cleaning your toy every time you use it. There is a chance that it could have come into contact with dirt, lint, dust, and other materials. We're pretty sure that you don't want to expose yourself to those elements, so you should wash your toy. You are able to skip this step, if you so desire. Cleaning toys before every use is a suggestion, whereas cleaning them after every use is a necessity (especially after roleplaying).

How do you take care of sex toys?

Sex toys are fun, whether you’re having fun with them, or they’re having fun on you. It's a lot of fun to play with those toys, but it's just as important to take proper care of them. These babies have great things to offer, which is why it’s important that they stay in good shape so you can use them again and again (and again).

Start with a Quality Product

When it comes to your sex life, and stuff that will be going in, out, or around your organs, it's really not a good time to be frugal. Toys of high quality could last for years, says Sex Toy Experts.

If you buy an extremely cheap toy from a no-reputation retailer, you may find they give away very quickly. That's not to say that all your gadgets will cost you a fortune. It's frightening to have a dildo break whilst in your hole. Cheaper toys could also give out a plethora of health problems, as cheaper materials interacting with your sensitive organs poses an extreme risk.

Finding a good store maybe hard as there are alot of options, but if you are in the market for quality unusual handcuffs, BDSM collars, restraints, dildos and other BDSM, collar, and sex toys. Cuffstore include replicas of antique designs and custom creations, all hand-crafted to the highest quality.

Make a habit in cleaning them

When it comes to the care of your sex toys, you always want to be safe. Bacteria can grow if they aren't properly cleaned and dried. If the manufacturer's instructions says otherwise, make sure to clean them before and after each use with gentle antibacterial soap and water.

Using the right lube

Lube is normally recommended for using different types of sex toys, knowing which ones to use is key. Example, a silicone lubricant is great, and latex-friendly as well, but it reacts to the material of silicone toys and could melt them.

Share responsibly

If you're going to use sex toys, you should never share them. But it could happen if you're using them with a partner. To prevent transmitting STDs, it is best to clean your used items carefully and share them only with your partner.

Make sure to always sterilize your toys before and after sharing them with someone else. This includes washing it in boiling water or washing it in the top rack of the dishwasher but be careful about how you handle the toy. These methods are only acceptable for toys that do not have any mechanical/electrical parts.

Know when to toss it

If you notice signs of wear and tear on the toy, it's time to throw it out. Lower quality toys can get too hot over time, toys made out of glass or wood can start chipping, and porous, soft plastic toys can tarnish over time.

If you see any of these signs, your toys have reached their end of life and it's time to replace them. You should always use your best judgment, and don't get too attached to a particular option. You can find another one that fits all your needs.

Is roleplay good for sex life?

Before tackling the main issue we will be talking about, we have to know whether what the hell we are doing is even good for our sex life. The answer is, technically yes.

Makes you more involved

When partners start to use their imagination to envision a fantasy situation, they are more involved and engaged in the sex session.

Increased time in foreplay

It is a good foreplay because instead of just taking your clothes off, you need to spend some time flirting, playing, manipulating, inventing dialogues and passes. You spend a lot of time creating sexual tension to succeed. This makes the arousal go up.

Originality

It is great that sex is not the same as your everyday sex. It is fresh, new and unusual. It is a adventure.

Unexpected outcomes

A roleplay session can give you a lot of things to take away. It can be scripted and rehearsed, but it can still go astray and land you in an unexpected place.

How do you roleplay without being awkward?

We've all been in the awkward position of trying to roleplay with a partner without them knowing what we're doing. We want to do cool poses, but they want to go back to their seat and read the menu. But there are ways around this awkwardness – at least if you know how to defeat awkwardness in roleplaying with a partner. Read on for the tips to do so.

Try clothes

Clothes help you get into character, so dressing up can help you get into the scenario and feel less self conscious, especially if you don't have much role play experience, says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist. Step into the role and bring it to life!If you're feeling nervous or embarrassed, feel free to acknowledge the discomfort and say you're feeling a little awkward or a little nervous but it's important to try to move past it and jump right into the task at hand, much like you would if you were nervous about giving a speech or presentation in front of an audience.

Setting the scene

It's a good idea to set up your scene in advance. You can create boundaries and avoid things going in a different direction if you do it this way.

Prepare

Get aroused before you slip into character. As arousal increases, your inhibitions will be heightened. Your brain circuitry will then be overloaded with activity.

Orgasm first

During orgasm, your brain becomes completely incapable of making sound decisions. It will be the equivalent of being drunk or stoned.

Turn off the lights

Do it with the lights off, or play the music at a fairly high volume. To be able to focus on what you're feeling in your body as opposed to your mind, you need to learn how to tune out the outside world for a few hours.

Get out of the house

Role playing in familiar surroundings feels very fake. It’s always a good idea to take a break from the usual places and see where your fantasy takes you.

Talk!

Dirty talking is a big part of role play. Ease yourself into the role by whispering the character's lines. The hushed tones, the background music and the lack of lighting make it feel like an intimate conversation

This week, I'm talking about role play and how to make it less awkward. This topic has come up quite a bit in my workshops and I know that it can be super awkward. I've seen people make it worse by trying to "make it work" with their partner. What's wrong with that?

You don't have to start out as a role play neophyte to enjoy role play. It doesn't matter if you are new to role playing or just starting out. Everyone can enjoy role play.

Toys

Be sure to bring toys into the equation too! Check out our article here on how to keep them in good condition.

How do you roleplay when you're shy?

There are a lot of people who want to play a role but don't know what to do. There are so many unanswered questions. Like, how would you even bring up fantasy to them in the first place? What are the things should I buy? If my partner judges me for wanting to be the cheese to his mouse or the princess trapped in a tower?

Chill out, everyone who is into role-playing started in the beginning somehow. Tell your partner what you want, and that means what you really really want. Decide what you want to do, figure out who's in charge and who has to follow instructions. You could stop there or take it a step further. Acting as strangers is an easy place to start as you can just be yourselves. Determine your next steps when you and your partner decide on a scene. Do you have costumes or props? Where do you want it to go?

There are many ways to have fun with your sex. We all have our own ideas of what sex should look like, and I want to encourage you to embrace trying new things. When we are in touch with our sex, we feel more alive, we feel more connected to our partners.