Is role playing healthy for relationships?

Many people are concerned that their urge to role-play would make them look foolish, yet this couldn't be further from the truth. Playing roles with your spouse is a private way to discover each other's dreams and give yourself permission to be a little vulnerable. Furthermore, even if it's just a small part of you, by pretending to be someone else, you're sort of revealing to your spouse who you really are.

Even while having sex is undoubtedly a two-person activity, there are instances when it can reveal more about you than anybody else. You might learn things about yourself that you didn't know by examining your deepest aspirations. In addition, millions of people presumably have fantasies similar to yours. Do you aspire to the roles of a scholar, a pirate, a police officer, a rescuer of the perilous, or a radiant knight? We have a lot of people's trust.

Related: Roleplaying 101

Is role playing good for marriage?

After the honeymoon phase, after having children, after your 10th or 20th anniversary, can you still have sex with your partner? ought to? We might conjecture at all kinds of causes for affairs when we consider the statistic that between 30 and 60 percent of marriages experience infidelity.

What if we pretended to be different people? You and your companion can try on different personalities while role-playing without engaging in an unlawful relationship. One of my favorite "games" is to pose as a stranger and meet my hubby at a pub. I actually donned a wig and dressed in brand-new clothing for him one evening. I was the first to arrive at the bar, so I was flattered when a couple of guys made an effort to buy me a drink and strike up a discussion, but I politely declined.

Eroticism needs to be nurtured

Spend some time considering your relationship's turn-ons, triggers, and boundaries. Describe individuals, occasions, and situations. The more you discuss and plot before going to bed, the more successful your scenes will be. Sometimes your sexuality is at odds with who you are outside of bed. Husbands who are feminists may desire to punish their wives, and calm, reserved wives may transform into lionesses. Be receptive to the absurd and the startling.

Don’t laugh at each other

The most sensitive of discoveries can be one's sexual preferences. A careless remark or casual remark can end the party as a whole. So create a "safe zone" where you may discuss and consider potential scenes.

Have a safe word

Give yourself a safe word to pause and/or change gears if a scenario seems to be suddenly awry. Use a word or phrase to let your partner know when you are feeling emotional. Many individuals use the universal Red - Yellow - Green—to imply full stop, slow down, and keep it coming—because it can be entertaining to say "No!" but mean "Yes" during role-playing! Think of a solution that works for you.

Make time for an aftercare check-in

After the scene, take some time to hold each other and discuss what felt wonderful, frightful, and exhilarating. This final ritual will create subsequent scenes that are more effective and more satisfyingly intimate.

How do you spice up roleplay?

Listen to your partner, and talk with each other, communication is definitely the key! Try and do new things every role-play session or so, but if it isn't broken, don't fix it. However, try and save that fire so that you can keep it lit for longer.

Related: Overcoming Awkwardness in Roleplaying

Incorporate sex toys

Incorporate sex toys too! Sex toys help boost orgasms for both men and women. Unusual handcuffs, collars, and BDSM accessories are available from Cuffstore. Replicas of vintage designs and pieces we've made in response to customer requests are among our offerings. View our top sellers below or check the categories in the menu bar to see everything we offer.

What is a safe natural lubricant?

By minimizing friction, lubricants and lubes can improve the pleasure and comfort of sexual activity. Although some alternatives are OK to employ, there are those that individuals ought to stay away from. People occasionally might not be able to find personal lubricants. In these circumstances, they could take into account different types of lubrication. But it's crucial that they pick a secure choice. This article examines the many kinds of potential natural safe lubricant substitutes and which kinds a person should stay away from.

List of possible lubrication alternatives

In the event that personal lubricants are unavailable, one of the following options could be used:

Aloe vera

Water-based aloe vera can reduce inflammation while also hydrating the skin. Its consistency makes it a suitable substitute for lubrication.

To make sure it doesn't include other components like alcohol, it is essential to verify an aloe vera product before using it as a lubricant. This is due to the possibility of genital irritation.

Plain yogurt

Plain yogurt might be a good substitute lubricant. It does not dry out, has a good consistency, and is reasonably priced, according to anecdotal evidence.

Yogurt has scientifically demonstrated therapeutic capabilities for curing vaginal thrush, despite the fact that there is no study to support its usage as a lubricant.

Olive oil

Olive oil is another possible substitute for lubricant since it spreads rapidly and readily. This kind of oil can block pores and cause illness since the skin cannot readily absorb it. If someone uses olive oil as lubrication, it's crucial to completely wipe the oil off the skin afterward.

It is not suggested to use olive oil with latex condoms or other latex barrier contraceptives since it is an oil-based lubricant and may cause them to shatter.

Virgin coconut oil

Both anti-inflammatory and hydrating effects can be found in virgin coconut oil. Since most people enjoy the taste and fragrance of coconut, it might make a good alternative to lubricant.

Virgin coconut oil shouldn't be used by persons who use latex barrier methods of contraception, same how they shouldn't use olive oil.

Egg whites

According to anecdotal data, egg whites could make a good substitute for lubrication. This is due to the perception that it resembles cervical mucus in consistency. However, egg whites require a little more work to prepare than the other choices on this list.

List of alternatives to avoid

People can mistake some liquids for lubricants when they can really cause discomfort and infection. A few of these are:

Vaseline

Vaseline users run the risk of starting an illness. According to a study, women who use Vaseline as a lubricant are more likely to contract bacterial vaginosis. Vaseline is not recommended for penetrative or oral intercourse because it is solely intended for external usage.

Lotion and soap

Preservatives like parabens and fragrances can be found in some lotions and soaps. These can infect the genitals and irritate them. However, if the items are moderate or fragrance-free, folks can use lotion or soap as lubricant.

Butter

Butter should be refrigerated because it is a dairy product, therefore using it for sex has hazards. For instance, butter may start to decay and turn rancid if it is inserted into a vagina or anus and the area is not adequately cleaned afterwards. A bacterial proliferation may result in an infection as a result.

Spit

Some individuals may believe saliva would be an excellent lubrication substitute because it is included in oral sex. There is a chance that someone could pass or get a sexually transmitted infection, but this could start an infection.

Baby oil

The use of baby oil as a lubricant raises the possibility of infection, poisoning, and harm to barrier methods of birth control.

What is the safest lubricant to use?

Aloe vera, coconut, olive, and the other natural oil lubricants mentioned above are all excellent for vaginal massages and other forms of sexual activity. They are also safe to ingest and safe for the vagina. Whatever "component" is easiest for you to obtain or your own choice in terms of the specs you want in your lube is what you should utilize.

How do you clean lube?

You've decided on a safer alternative to lube, now you're wondering how you might clean it off. Simply wash the area with soap and warm water, but if you are unable to take a shower, wet wipes will work just fine.

Be aware that if you choose not to use wet wipes or take a shower after having sex with silicon lube, your underwear will likely be stained with the dried lube, which will be obvious to whoever does the laundry.

How do I tell my partner about my kink?

It might be difficult to share one's kink with a new partner or a partner in a committed relationship. What happens if your spouse doesn't find your kink appealing? And what if they criticize you? There are a plethora of issues to consider. The first stage in fulfilling your sexual demands is, however, communication, which entails vocalizing them. How do you even get started exploring your kink? To start, ask yourself if you feel at ease doing what makes you tick. If you're worried that your partner will criticize you for wanting to experiment with a role-playing scenario, such as a doctor/patient scene or a type of bondage, check in with yourself first.

If you're at comfortable with the knowledge that you want to be called dirty names in bed, you're more likely to express that desire in a calm and relaxed manner. If you're still battling inwardly, it might be beneficial to talk to a kink-competent and accepting therapist before discussing your kink with a partner. If you have internalized sexual guilt that is preventing you from having fun and feeling good about your kinks, it may be beneficial and necessary to work through your feelings and the beliefs you've internalized. Take a deep breath knowing (or potentially reminding yourself) that there is nothing wrong with you if your sexual urges involve exploring something with another consenting adult.

How do you bring it up?

Talking about the mainstream media is a great way to start a conversation. An article or movie may be a terrific opener, whether it's Fifty Shades of Grey, one of the many magazines featuring a sex and sexuality section, or something else entirely. Perhaps send them a link to this article about the benefits of BDSM and see what they think?

While some people prefer to talk about their sexual preferences before going to bed, arousal can be a useful tool. Dirty conversations are one of the simplest methods to reveal your kink to your partner. Let's imagine you really want to spank your partner. You might suggest telling them during a makeout session how much you like them and how much you want to spank them, and then asking if you can. By posing the question as a request, you are exercising consent while displaying your kink in a private context. Consent is also a crucial component of any sexual connection, no matter how kinky or conventional it may be. Although you are not required to discuss your kink over dinner or coffee, you are welcome to do so if it feels comfortable. You certainly don’t have to bring up your kink over dinner or coffee, but if that setting feels good to you, go for it! Always do what feels best for your relationship.

How do you ask your partner to tie you up?

Unbelievably, this is a question that is fairly common. It might be tough to disclose to your spouse that you even have this urge, which is perhaps the most challenging aspect of the issue. Let's imagine you want to tie up your partner without further ado. Fortunately, it's simpler than you would think. Simply said, you need to introduce it to them gradually rather than all at once. It's strange to arrive on a date with a lot of rope. And because of this, most women turn to make little jokes about it in the hopes that the male would fall for the ruse.

Start gradually

Tell him to start by holding your wrists down while you have sex. Inform him that you enjoy having someone to strive against and that it feels nice to sense his strength. Make sounds that will show him that it truly turned you on while you struggle a little (don't actually escape; you want it to be pleasurable for him too). Afterward, tell him how hot it was. Like all other creatures, men enjoy receiving praise. Then, if he appears to enjoy it as well (he will probably), construct the fantasy for him.

Build the fantasy

Make it serious and not too frivolous. Although it feels like a trap to a guy, that is emotionally safer for you. He also doesn't want to acknowledge how he feels. He enjoys you. He wants that you perceive him as a gentleman. Tell him straight out that fantasizing about his tying you up gets you incredibly hot because then no matter how hard you tried, you would be powerless and he could do whatever he wanted to you while you were helpless. Tell him in such a manner that the thought of it hurts him.

Only discuss it at the right time

Tell him this in bed or another sexually charged situation since that is when his ANIMAL brain is active. It turns out that depending on our emotional state, our thoughts and judgments might fluctuate greatly. And the reason for that is that we are using entirely different parts of our brain. Because of this, you may fantasize about being tied up when you are turned on, but the next day, when you are not turned on, you can feel ashamed of your initial ideas.

Therefore, while it may be tempting to have this talk when you both feel grounded and sane, it just won't go over as well. Don't plan on asking him to hold your wrists down PRIOR to having sex; instead, do it DURING intense sex. The next weekend, he will appear with the necessary equipment and props.

Don't be a "dummy"

Please don't be a dunce about it and interpret what I'm saying to suggest that "physical constraint" is a good idea with the girl you just started dating. For the males reading along, the stuff I'm talking about is a powerful female fantasy. Here we are in FANTASY. To be clear, using force is never acceptable and can get you arrested in addition to being wrong.

When it comes to the emotional components of women experiencing degrees of pleasure that are, quite bluntly, frightening for them, there are concepts of "giving permission" and "taking responsibility" in the framework of a loving and trustworthy relationship. Instead of imposing anything, it is about EARNING sexual trust. And only sexual assurance, trust, and intimacy can achieve that.

Cuff yourself!

After all of the preliminary things are done, sometimes the best thing to do is; to do it! More is lost by indecision, rather than the wrong decision. Head on over to Cuffstore's premium quality handcuff collection, if you're in the market.

Is it healthy to be into BDSM?

More and more people are starting to recognize the benefits of BDSM. For example, it helps to reduce stress and even build trust in relationships. The BDSM community has faced controversy because of its conflicting representations in the media and even conflicting data presented by researchers and psychologists. Many of us have some interest in the BDSM lifestyle, whether we're into it personally or just hear about it at parties.

How does BDSM affect mental health?

Similar to kinks, which we covered in our previous article; Why Do You Have A Kink?, There is a lot of stigma surrounding BDSM in the mainstream media, so it can be hard to find people who are comfortable talking about it. However, the research is showing that there are many benefits to mental health from practicing BDSM and that it is a safe practice.

The most important thing to remember is that BDSM is not about inflicting pain on your partner. BDSM is about building trust and communicating your desires, and having the skills and knowledge to carry out those desires safely and respectfully. Everyone has a kink or two, whether they’ve admitted it or not.

If you’re struggling with trauma or mental illness, using BDSM to release your emotions or fantasies can be incredibly therapeutic. This is something you should discuss with a qualified therapist before you start engaging in kinky activities.

Does BDSM help anxiety?

Research suggests yes. In one study, scientists at the University of Sussex asked a group of experienced BDSM practitioners to describe their experience of being in the zone, or in flow. They found that these people entered a state of pleasure and enjoyment that’s very similar to the experience of athletic athletes who are at the top of their game.

The concentration needed to perform at your peak is like that of a chess player, whose goal is to not let anything distract him from his game. Researchers monitored the stress, testosterone, and cortisol levels of seven couples who engaged in BDSM.

The study also included other measurements. These were: the couples' physical proximity and distance between them; how close or far apart they sat; their relative mood, how they communicated in terms of how positive, negative, happy, sad, tired, etc., each partner was in comparison to the other.

How is BDSM healthy?

Well, how exactly is BDSM healthy? There are many misconceptions about BDSM and the activities that fall under its umbrella, but many of these misunderstandings are based on a lack of education and knowledge. Research has shown several ways in which mindfulness is positively associated with participants' mental and physical health, as well as deepening romantic relationships. If you're interested in exploring BDSM, we recommend that you have a candid, open discussion with your partner.

1. Reduced stress levels

Research has shown that practicing BDSM can trigger biological changes that resemble the zen you might feel during or after a yoga session, or the runner's high you get from intense cardio. In a series of studies from Northern Illinois University, researchers found that the participants in sadomasochistic scenarios who were the dominants had reduced levels of cortisol after the session ended, while the submissives experienced a spike in cortisol.

Not only does the reduction of cortisol make us feel better mentally, it can have a positive effect on our physical health. A lower cortisol level will help protect you against a wide range of illnesses, including high blood pressure, suppressed immunity, and insulin resistance.

2. Better communication skills

Exploring aspects of BDSM with your partner can improve your sexual relationship and ultimately bring you closer together. Lisa Hochberger, a licensed clinical social worker who specializes in sex therapy, says experienced practitioners have high levels of sex education and communication skills.

People use many forms of safety precautions that involve a strong sense of negotiation and vulnerability. It's important to know that it's okay to be submissive or powerful in a consensual way in sex. Sex play roles do not equal emotional relationship dynamics or relationship power roles outside of sex play. Communication skills are a key ingredient in any recipe for a satisfying, healthy relationship.

3. Builds & deepens trust

Couples who are into kinky sex may be able to experience deeper feelings of trust in their relationship. There's a lot of evidence that practicing BDSM brings couples together. When it's done consciously, it can be a very powerful experience for a couple. When starting a new journey of any kind, it is always important to begin by discussing what interests you and what you want from the experience.

For example, what do they fantasize about? Are they secretly more turned on by being utterly submissive or by having total control? From there, they can start to map out scenarios that fit within those parameters. BDSM requires a lot of trust, but the intricacies of it call for participants to really double down on being vulnerable with each other.

4. Improves mental health

A research study from the International Society for Sexual Medicine was specifically designed to examine the mental well-being of people who are part of BDSM. They did so by asking key personality traits of each person, and their results show that these people have very specific personality traits. Traits included their attachment styles in relationships, general well-being, and how sensitive they were to rejection compared to those in a control group.

Researchers have long been skeptical about the psychological effects of bondage, discipline, and sadomasochism. However, a recent study revealed that the BDSM practitioners weren’t the psychologically broken people that many believed them to be. The participants in the BDSM group felt more secure in their relationships, were happier, felt more conscientious toward others, and were more open to trying new experiences.

When they were younger, these kids were anxious and sensitive to other people’s perceptions of them. However, through the "BDSM treatment", the kids showed a decrease in anxiety and sensitivity to others’ perceptions. All of these characteristics may possibly be indicators that BDSM may be positively correlated with some benefits.

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How does Roleplay work in sex?

A sexual role play is a role play that has a strong erotic element. Sexual fantasy is the act of creating a scenario or role play that may involve two or more people acting out roles, and may include foreplay, and may be sexually arousing. Roleplaying is an effective means of overcoming sexual inhibitions. Many people find it a healthy way to explore their sexuality.

How seriously the play is taken depends on the participants, and the scenario could be anything from simple and makeshift to detailed and elaborate, including costumes and a script. The role play can involve a fantasy based on any social role and could include any kind of sexual fetish desired by the participants. There are items or clothing that can be experienced as erotic or one or more participants being nude. Sexual bondage and erotic humiliation are some of the elements of the role play. Like this handcuff collection from Cuffstore, and more.

The popularity of the Internet has also allowed for online sexual encounters, known as cybersex, which may involve roleplay.

What are some good Roleplay ideas?

I've been creating my own role play scenes for years, and I can tell you, it's a lot of fun! However, it's not always easy. Sometimes it's hard to find things that work for everyone involved. Sometimes you have to be flexible. And sometimes it's just plain awkward. But when it works, it's worth every minute of the struggle.

Housewife and Handyman

The housewife handyman scenario has always been a crowd favorite and you can also be a house husband and handywoman. There is something sexy about someone who's come to clean your 'pipes'. You don't need much to pull it off because your apartment or house is already the perfect backdrop.

Professor and Student

Many of us think about the teacher we wished we were "doing". I know I've always had a crush on my algebra teacher. The most powerful role play scenario involves a naughty professor and his sexy student.

The whole student/teacher paradigm is very hot, but becomes problematic when you're thinking in terms of age appropriate consent. Falling prey to that is NOT sexy.

Nanny and Hot Single Mom/Dad

The hot single parent banging the nanny has extreme appeal. The single parent is broken hearted and looking for love just waiting for the wonderful nanny to come in and swoop them up. Everyone loves MILFs/DILFs right?

Uptight Boss and Employee

Have you ever had a boss that you lusted for, even though he or she was a total asshole? Yes, a power exchange is what gets the juices flowing. Angry sex is HOT. Feelings of passion are very similar to feelings of rage when someone pisses you off.

Good Cop and Bad Cop

You're partners in the force, each other's shields and greatest allies. You have to rough up a criminal. Each of you has a role. You give way to your lust after an intense interrogation.

Doctor and Nurse

Sometimes being a medical professional is hard and you have to let off steam with a coworker. Nurse and doctor costumes are very popular on Halloween. They're tempting.

Batman and Poison Ivy

We all want to be superheroes because they're larger than life. What's not to love about super strength and being able to walk through walls?

Pretending to be a superhero is really fun, and with superpowered, superhero sex, it's even better. This is a dynamic that applies to just about any mix of your favorite superheroes and villains.

Librarian and Reader

If you think you've never thought about having sex with a librarian, you're lying. This is a sexy fantasy because of how books and intelligence are often thought of as unattractive.

Athlete and Coach

Coaches are very attractive. They are very sexy, strong, and powerful. This makes them very desirable. It's kind of weird how some locker rooms are so disgusting, and yet for some reason, so many people want to screw in them.

How do you roleplay for beginners?

It's a simple concept - if you can role play in the privacy of your own head, you can do it in the real world. By pretending to be someone else, you gain a better understanding of yourself and how you behave in different situations. Whether you're into a more traditional or a more experimental approach to role playing, there are plenty of things you can do that will help you to make this form of play more than just a novelty.

Make a game plan

Whether it’s in the bedroom or on the stage, it’s important to have a game plan for role play so you can both enjoy what comes next. You're not required to plan out a full evening, but it will help if you do. To really step into the experience you'll need to be in character and deeply commit.

Do you want to dress up? Use accessories? Decorate your space appropriately? No matter your preferences for role-playing, you will need to tackle this one together as a team, so be sure to share your ideas and what you'd like to try.

Start out small with the props

What's cool about this is that you don't have to be full on in order to be successful or get laid. Some people say it's best to start out slow to avoid feeling like an idiot. Don't be afraid to start working your way up, even if it seems like there's a barrier in your way.

When it comes to cosplay, you might want to do more than just put a few pieces together. Roleplay can get quite tricky, but if you start small, it’ll be easier to get into character.

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Don’t be afraid to laugh and be silly

At first, this may seem kind of silly, simply because it is! So what? Have fun. It's the beginning of a journey. And at the same time, it's a way of indulging some of your most long standing and most potent fantasies and exploring new territory with your partner.

If you are afraid to look silly, read more in our article here about Overcoming Awkwardness in Roleplaying.

Don't think that you’re incapable of getting into character. Laughing and being silly means that you’re having a good time together. Slow down and take your time, trust the process.

How do I get my wife to use sex toys?

Firstly, if you want your husband to use sex toys, read on as this is not just for wives specifically. If you're really serious about wanting to introduce sex toys into your bedroom, then you need to know how to do it without it feeling awkward. There are some ways you can go about it without being too weird or pushing your partner away.

If you've ever had a desire to try something new in the bedroom but were nervous about it, then you've come to the right place. There's nothing to be afraid of when it comes to exploring your sexuality. In fact, the more you know about your body and what you like, the better you'll be able to please yourself and your partner.

Sex toys are a great way to spice up your sex life. Whether you're looking to spice things up with a new toy or you just want to explore the possibilities, read on!

Step 1: Buy a Sex Toy

Well duh, buy a sex toy first. It would be stupid to try to use sex toys without having one, no? You need to invest on quality toys, these aren't exactly the items to skimp out on this as you need high quality materials as these toys are going to be interacting with you and your partner's sensitive organs.

Step 2: Create a culture of open sex talk

Talk to each other about your desire to bring sex toys into your relationship. Ask each other if your sexual preferences and your partner’s make it easy to do so.

Talk about sex to help increase your understanding of what you like and to provide an opportunity for you to experience something new that you might enjoy in the bedroom. Conversation about sex will help you and your partner get used to discussing what sensations you enjoy and what additions you can make to your sex lives to make them better.

Step 3: Specifically talk about using a sex toy

Once you get comfortable talking about sex, it's time to start introducing your partner to the possibility of using sex toys. You're not allowed to just take a vibrator from beneath your bed in the middle of things, and you need to make sure you've got consent before doing so.

Whipping out a sex toy will put your partner in a position where they feel pressured into trying something that they don't want to try. Your partner needs to create a space where they can say no to anything.

Focus the conversation on the possibility of creating something great together. "I like using a vibrator on you or I'd like you to use a stroker on me as It would be hot"

Step 4: Get specific on what toy to try

There are seven or eight different types of vibrators alone, such as wand massagers, clitoral stimulators, and anal dilators. Dildos, strokers, nipple clamps, and floggers also qualify as sex toys. It's very possible that if you are not specific in your discussion, when you agree to use a sex toy, you may be envisioning a sword-shaped dildo while your partner is thinking about a vibrating cock ring.

It's important to be on the same page about what type of toy you’re trying together before you get started. To make that decision, take some time to walk around your local adult store and see what excites you.

Listen to your instinct. When it comes to love, listen to your gut feelings and observe your partner's body language. You'll know what turns them on and if you're on the right track! Visit a sex shop's online store (like Cuffstore) allows you to browse through the different sex toy categories.

Step 5: Play with the toy for a while

Now that you have your toy, get to know it for a while before bringing it to bed. How do you turn it on and off? How do you increase or decrease the intensity? How many vibration patterns are there? Which ones do I want to try? Check, double check, triple check, that you are able to answer these questions before you use them.

Step 6: Discuss the experience afterwards

It’s important for you and your partner to come together after sex and talk about the toy, reflect on what went well, and what may need some work or support.

Step 7: Keep going

When it comes to sex toys, it’s really all about what works for you. If you drop money on a toy and then don’t love it the first time, try it again. You could use it on your lower belly, or in a different setting, or on a different body part, or with a different kind of lubricant or arousal oil. Using it while you masturbate will help you to understand what feels good to you and, as a result, you’ll discover what works for you to enjoy sexual pleasure.

Bonus Step: Maintain your toys!

Got your wife/husband to finally agree? The next step is caring for your toy, read our article here on how to do so. It is as equally as important as the process of persuading someone to agree to use them.

What does S&M stand for?

Sadism and masochism are abbreviated as S&M. Sadomasochism is a fetish where a person derives sexual pleasure from the infliction of pain on another, either by themselves or through others. S&M is an umbrella term used to describe a wide range of activities in which participants engage in activities that may be pleasurable for one party but painful for another.

S&M is a subset of BDSM that focuses on S&M. It includes bondage, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. Dominance and submission are part of the psychological play of S&M. There is nothing dirty, disrespectful, or depraved about S&M, or BDSM, but it does involve hurting your partner. However, don't go so far that your partner could go to an emergency room or might bandage him/herself up after sex.

BDSM is all about play, and like any other form of play, the fun is in playing and sharing the power with your own consent. There isn't a single size that fits all of the definition of BDSM. Restraining your hands with your husband's tie might be enough for you, while someone else might get flogged with a leather riding crop. And that's all right. It's possible to get kinky without leaving a mark or feeling a sting.

Related - Why Do You Have a Kink?

Why you should bother with S&M

When you think about it, we all need to try new things in order to grow as people. When I was younger, I never tried S&M. But now I find myself having a more adventurous sex life because I've explored this side of myself.

You can always be open to trying new things in the bedroom, and the same goes for your sex life. It's not always easy to be spontaneous and adventurous, but if you're having trouble finding ways to spice things up, you might want to consider consensual S&M play.

The science is out, and it's clear that S&M can improve the quality of sex for many.

How to get started

S&M is not only for people who like being dominated, humiliated, and whipped. S&M is a way of life, and there are many aspects to it besides the whips and flogging.

You can also lightly tease them with your teeth, or press a kiss onto their lips, but don't go for a big, lingering, full-mouth kiss, as that's not really what this is about. S&M is all about domination and control of the submissive.

As you explore a blindfold experience, you might try some of the more adventurous S&M activities, like tying one partner’s hands or feet, playing servant/master games, spanking, pinching, scratching, and asking permission to use whips or paddles.

After all this, accessorize! S&M wouldn't be S&M if you had no accessories like bondages, cuffs, and etcetera. Grab the appropriate things at our store!

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Guidelines for S&M

Consent is the most important thing with S&M. Anything can be fun and enjoyable if it's agreed to. It's possible that being called terrible names, spanked, and made to scrub the floor is exactly what your partner signed up for. If this is the case, the experience can turn into a lot of fun. After the play is over, you return to your usual roles and ways of treating one another.

You should always have a safe word to ensure consent, and if you feel like you’re being pressured into something, it’s okay to stop. It's good for every couple to have a code word, just in case something happens that makes them feel too uncomfortable. A "safe word" is a code that lets your partner know to stop what they’re doing. Look for an unusual word or phrase, as long as it's clear what you mean and it won't be confusing if you accidentally use it. Your "safe word" can help your partner during sex, and if you use it in a safe situation, it's not a violation of your agreement.

Explore what you don't know is there. Time and again, I see people discovering things they didn't know they would enjoy. Some people think you need to do things that feel terrible to be on your way to finding your inner truth, but the truth is you can go to any place you like to be and find new aspects of. Start with fantasies that you both really enjoy and then expand from there.

What does it mean by your kinks?

Kink can be any number of things, but I am going to use it as an umbrella term for anything that falls under the category of unconventional sexual activity. So, kinks include bondage, BDSM, domination, exhibitionism, and any other activities that fall outside of traditional sex.

The definition of non-traditional means different things to different people, but in most contexts, non-traditional means anything that falls outside of romantic, intercourse-based sex between two people. There are things that range from bondage like BDSM collars, handcuffs, ropes or restraints, to practices like public humiliation, domination/submission, and group sex.

What causes a kink?

We often experience kinks without even realizing it. It's pretty easy to get into BDSM without even knowing it. It may be with toys, or etcetera. You may be curious about the lifestyle or just want to try something new, but you don't want to get into it blind.

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We develop kinks during many stages of life

The roots of a person's sexual kink are subjective. We try to put people into boxes, and frankly, your sexual kink is subjective. We’re all complex. That’s why we need to learn how to understand each other. For example, when someone starts a passion for leather, maybe it was because their first partner was a macho dude and wore lots of leather jackets.

It's not necessarily a matter of age, of gender, or your experiences in life. It can happen without any particular circumstances, so it isn't always linked to some event in your past. There are many different kinds of knots to discover, each one attached to a certain action and affecting your body in some way.

However, a study claims that people who were spanked as children have a predilection towards spanking during sex. Also, as pornography watching increases and more sexual acts are available to people, there are a lot of kinks discovered through puberty.

It's already there in our imagination

It's very common for people to think about something taboo. Most people will have some crazy sexual thoughts in their lifetime. Humans are very active in their imaginations. Thinking about it is one thing, but acting on it is another. The fact that fewer people act on their kinks seems pretty obvious.

Research suggests that most people have had a sexual fantasy about something kinky before, so most of us do seem to be a little weird. The number of people who actually want to act on their fantasies is smaller than the number of people who have engaged in them. Fantasy, desire, and behavior are all different, so it depends on which one you're talking about.

Should I be kinky?

The short answer is yes. It's important to experiment sexually so you can discover what you like and what you don't like. Kinkiness, drastically improves our sex lives. If you are worried about feeling or looking stupid for the first time, this article tackles a similar topic.

Developing a good relationship with your kink/s

If you're into kink and want to enjoy it during your sex life, there are tons of options available. It’s difficult to develop healthy, comfortable relationships with sexual behaviors that aren’t conventionally accepted in society. Kinky fun is an important part of your sexual experience, and as long as you decide what you want to try out, you'll be able to have a healthy appreciation for

Remember that kinks are extremely common. Most people have had sex fantasies before, so stop feeling weird about having those thoughts. However, an unhealthy relationship could also be your downfall. Try to "responsibly" handle your kinks, seek consent from your partner, and seek a professional when things start to get out of hand.

Can you get STD from old toy?

First off, if you think you might have contracted an STD, you should immediately seek a professional as an article on the internet cannot cure you.

Sex toys can be a source of bacteria and viruses that can cause infections, both bacterial and viral. But this is not a reason to stay away from adult toys and accessories. However, you need to learn how to protect yourself and maintain your sexual health. If you don't want to get STDs from sex toys, it's essential that you know how to maintain your sex toys.

Should sex toys be cleaned after every use?

Yes, of course. But you'd think cleaning sex toys with soap and water would be good enough. Please don’t do that. It’s best to first figure out what type of material the toy is made of before starting to clean them. You can divide most sex toys into two broad categories: porous materials and non-porous materials.

Check the box or look it up online to see what kind of material your toy is made of. When it comes to cleaning porous sex toys, you should know right off the bat that while it's possible to clean them, even if you can, it might not be enough to eliminate all the germs you might want to be eliminating.

You should think about cleaning your toy before you use it, even if you are careful about cleaning your toy every time you use it. There is a chance that it could have come into contact with dirt, lint, dust, and other materials. We're pretty sure that you don't want to expose yourself to those elements, so you should wash your toy. You are able to skip this step, if you so desire. Cleaning toys before every use is a suggestion, whereas cleaning them after every use is a necessity (especially after roleplaying).

How do you take care of sex toys?

Sex toys are fun, whether you’re having fun with them, or they’re having fun on you. It's a lot of fun to play with those toys, but it's just as important to take proper care of them. These babies have great things to offer, which is why it’s important that they stay in good shape so you can use them again and again (and again).

Start with a Quality Product

When it comes to your sex life, and stuff that will be going in, out, or around your organs, it's really not a good time to be frugal. Toys of high quality could last for years, says Sex Toy Experts.

If you buy an extremely cheap toy from a no-reputation retailer, you may find they give away very quickly. That's not to say that all your gadgets will cost you a fortune. It's frightening to have a dildo break whilst in your hole. Cheaper toys could also give out a plethora of health problems, as cheaper materials interacting with your sensitive organs poses an extreme risk.

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Make a habit in cleaning them

When it comes to the care of your sex toys, you always want to be safe. Bacteria can grow if they aren't properly cleaned and dried. If the manufacturer's instructions says otherwise, make sure to clean them before and after each use with gentle antibacterial soap and water.

Using the right lube

Lube is normally recommended for using different types of sex toys, knowing which ones to use is key. Example, a silicone lubricant is great, and latex-friendly as well, but it reacts to the material of silicone toys and could melt them.

Share responsibly

If you're going to use sex toys, you should never share them. But it could happen if you're using them with a partner. To prevent transmitting STDs, it is best to clean your used items carefully and share them only with your partner.

Make sure to always sterilize your toys before and after sharing them with someone else. This includes washing it in boiling water or washing it in the top rack of the dishwasher but be careful about how you handle the toy. These methods are only acceptable for toys that do not have any mechanical/electrical parts.

Know when to toss it

If you notice signs of wear and tear on the toy, it's time to throw it out. Lower quality toys can get too hot over time, toys made out of glass or wood can start chipping, and porous, soft plastic toys can tarnish over time.

If you see any of these signs, your toys have reached their end of life and it's time to replace them. You should always use your best judgment, and don't get too attached to a particular option. You can find another one that fits all your needs.

Is roleplay good for sex life?

Before tackling the main issue we will be talking about, we have to know whether what the hell we are doing is even good for our sex life. The answer is, technically yes.

Makes you more involved

When partners start to use their imagination to envision a fantasy situation, they are more involved and engaged in the sex session.

Increased time in foreplay

It is a good foreplay because instead of just taking your clothes off, you need to spend some time flirting, playing, manipulating, inventing dialogues and passes. You spend a lot of time creating sexual tension to succeed. This makes the arousal go up.

Originality

It is great that sex is not the same as your everyday sex. It is fresh, new and unusual. It is a adventure.

Unexpected outcomes

A roleplay session can give you a lot of things to take away. It can be scripted and rehearsed, but it can still go astray and land you in an unexpected place.

How do you roleplay without being awkward?

We've all been in the awkward position of trying to roleplay with a partner without them knowing what we're doing. We want to do cool poses, but they want to go back to their seat and read the menu. But there are ways around this awkwardness – at least if you know how to defeat awkwardness in roleplaying with a partner. Read on for the tips to do so.

Try clothes

Clothes help you get into character, so dressing up can help you get into the scenario and feel less self conscious, especially if you don't have much role play experience, says Dr. Jane Greer, marriage and family therapist. Step into the role and bring it to life!If you're feeling nervous or embarrassed, feel free to acknowledge the discomfort and say you're feeling a little awkward or a little nervous but it's important to try to move past it and jump right into the task at hand, much like you would if you were nervous about giving a speech or presentation in front of an audience.

Setting the scene

It's a good idea to set up your scene in advance. You can create boundaries and avoid things going in a different direction if you do it this way.

Prepare

Get aroused before you slip into character. As arousal increases, your inhibitions will be heightened. Your brain circuitry will then be overloaded with activity.

Orgasm first

During orgasm, your brain becomes completely incapable of making sound decisions. It will be the equivalent of being drunk or stoned.

Turn off the lights

Do it with the lights off, or play the music at a fairly high volume. To be able to focus on what you're feeling in your body as opposed to your mind, you need to learn how to tune out the outside world for a few hours.

Get out of the house

Role playing in familiar surroundings feels very fake. It’s always a good idea to take a break from the usual places and see where your fantasy takes you.

Talk!

Dirty talking is a big part of role play. Ease yourself into the role by whispering the character's lines. The hushed tones, the background music and the lack of lighting make it feel like an intimate conversation

This week, I'm talking about role play and how to make it less awkward. This topic has come up quite a bit in my workshops and I know that it can be super awkward. I've seen people make it worse by trying to "make it work" with their partner. What's wrong with that?

You don't have to start out as a role play neophyte to enjoy role play. It doesn't matter if you are new to role playing or just starting out. Everyone can enjoy role play.

Toys

Be sure to bring toys into the equation too! Check out our article here on how to keep them in good condition.

How do you roleplay when you're shy?

There are a lot of people who want to play a role but don't know what to do. There are so many unanswered questions. Like, how would you even bring up fantasy to them in the first place? What are the things should I buy? If my partner judges me for wanting to be the cheese to his mouse or the princess trapped in a tower?

Chill out, everyone who is into role-playing started in the beginning somehow. Tell your partner what you want, and that means what you really really want. Decide what you want to do, figure out who's in charge and who has to follow instructions. You could stop there or take it a step further. Acting as strangers is an easy place to start as you can just be yourselves. Determine your next steps when you and your partner decide on a scene. Do you have costumes or props? Where do you want it to go?

There are many ways to have fun with your sex. We all have our own ideas of what sex should look like, and I want to encourage you to embrace trying new things. When we are in touch with our sex, we feel more alive, we feel more connected to our partners.